Lords of Salem: The Review

By Scuzz


The Lords of Salem Poster

The Lords of Salem Poster

A coven of witches of Salem will have their day!! Also their naked time…

The Lords of Salem follow two storylines that are one. The main story follows that of Heidi (played by Sherri Moon Zombie) who is part of a trio of late night personalities/djs on a local Salem radio station. Start out simple enough with her waking up going to work and that lot. She then receives a mysterious vinyl from a band called “The Lords”. She listens to the vinyl at home and things start to happen. At this point you start to see the backstory or secondary story start to take shape. This secondary story takes place back in the days of the witch trials and follows a coven of witches that are eventually referred to as the Lords of Salem.  These two stories eventually converge by the end of the movie.

The man Rob Zombie

The man Rob Zombie

This is the 5th movie for Director/Writer/Artist/Metal Musician Rob Zombie. As with everything he does there are some wonderful visuals and scenes that appear in this movie. Some of the metaphors that are displayed throughout the movie are very in your face. I wouldn’t expect anything else from Mr. Zombie. While the acting was decent I did not see anything that was really breakout in the movie. There were some actors and actresses it was fun to see and some it was like “HOLY CRAP I KNOW HER” (For me it was seeing Patricia Quinn aka Magenta from RHPS in here). What really helped the movie though was the sound track. I did feel that Mr. Zombie and his partner in crime John 5 did well putting together some of the musical pieces for this track. In particular the Lords of Salem song that is on the vinyl that gets played is disconcerting enough to really actually add to the movie.




I went into this movie as a horror and Rob Zombie fan thinking it was going to be a lot like his other flicks. I was disappointed in that aspect. This movie had a VERY art house feel to me. Do not get me wrong, I do enjoy the art house style movie but it was not what I expected going into this movie. (Side Note: If some of you readers are trying to figure out what I mean by art house style here are a few examples of art house style movies: The Seventh Seal by Ingmar Bergmann, 8 ½ by Frederico Fellini and Eraserhead by David Lynch.)




Sheri Moon Zombie in, you guessed it, 'The Lords of Salem'

Sheri Moon Zombie in, you guessed it, ‘The Lords of Salem’

I did like how the movie told the story in a progression of the week and the images as stated above were wonderfully done. By the end of the movie I did enjoy it but I would not recommend this movie to just any old horror or Rob Zombie fan. I also have to point out that there is a TON of nudity in this movie. I am pretty sure it is easier to count the number of women that aren’t topless or full nude in the movie then how many do go nude. (By the way that number of non-nude women is 4) Do prepare yourself for that as it is not just pretty people nude, it is an unbiased nude.


Final Judgment:

This is a renter for those who want to watch an art house style horror flick. This movie should not be watched under the guise it is like Rob Zombie’s other movies because it is not.



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